I have been planning this blog post in my head for a week, but a new job with longer working hours meant I could only write down all that, today…in the new week…during a seemingly lazy lunch hour sqeezed between two rather hectic halves of the day.
As my wasted brain would have it, I have forgotten most of what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about my new workplace which is super cool!!! And I am suddenly having a vague deja vu, I think I did try coining a hurried post mid week but I guess it never happened.
I know I wanted to laugh about how it was G’s bday and he once again lied to me about his company…asked him, “Happy birthday, so who r u celebrating with?”
Now if he was normal, he would have said, “Thanks…Just few friends.”
But he isn’t normal, so he said, “Thanks, just my flat mate.”
I found out about the presence of other ‘friends’ later on… (I was bound to…wasn’t I?) Not wasting a minute, I joked; “when G gets married, he’ll not reveal his bride.”
(mon dieu!!! I wouldn’t be surprised!)
Teehee..G u always crack me up! Happy birthday for getting a lil more boring each day!!
Well, so I wanted to blog about all this and a lot more (which I have now forgotten)
The reason why all of this stayed in my head till late Sunday evening is because late Sunday evening, suddenly, catastrophically a window to my past opened yet again.
It began as an idle evening chat with an ex student of my school… unlike me, this girl was a prefect, a brilliant student …in short an outstanding personality in school.
Generally, school is divided into two kinds of people: the outstanding personality, the “who?”
I was a ‘who?’…known by few, loved by some …not necessarily outstanding for any primary teacher to remember me by.
School days were also therefore not the kind which went down the annals of my history as not so sunny days. I was just glad it was over.
However, fourteen years in one school means you cannot simply forget it, not mater what opinion you have of it…it will always remain closer to you than you can imagine.
So when I was in the fifth standard, my English teacher thought I was a good enough writer to get published in a local newspaper. I did get published and received my first 15 minutes of pre-puberty fame. Academically being from the bottom rung, I was thrilled with all the back patting; hair ruffling that went on for months after that. A fabulously vivid memory is getting a bar of chocolate from the teacher alongside the first boy. I sort of knew that day; this is what I was meant to do. And just like that unknowingly, seeming whitish woman with scarce hair immortalized herself in what I now call my past.
Last night, I found out that she has passed away many years ago.
And in many years, I was suddenly blow away by a sudden gust of sorrow and shock. Like standing in the middle of a dust storm, it entered my eyes, my mouth, tingled at my throat and headed straight for my soul engulfing it with lament.
I heard about another teacher who life has been a living tragedy since many years now….she was the happiest thing alive..ever…
And somewhere you realize that it is not a perfect balance after all…people who deserve to die will live longer, those perfect angels will die younger…someone somewhere will be given Japanese accolades for mediocre journalism, some one else somewhere will remain a wanna be all her life and not know it… Miss N are you listening?