Santa just get me some company worth keeping

i saw a man today at the museum steps, talking to himself. Wearing rags and pacing around, he was obviously what our world calls ‘the mad man’.

insane defined by the dictionary says : “not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.”

and i think this is one of the most ironic words in the English dictionary.

how contented he must be, in his own insane world with no inhibitions, no goals, no stress and only dreams.  Its like when I was a child, and I used to play with imaginary friends, and talking aloud to myself was not ‘weird’. I don’t remember when I last spoke to myself aloud though, I know I always want to do it.

And here was this man, who could walk around with his fly open, talking to himself and nobody stopped it, nobody was bothered…oh how free he must be!

“I sleep—for a while—two or three hours—then a dream—no—a nightmare seizes me in its grip, I know full well that I am lying down and that I am asleep . . . I sense it and I know it . . . and I am also aware that somebody is coming up to me, looking at me, running his fingers over me, climbing on to my bed, kneeling on my chest, taking me by the throat and squeezing . . . squeezing . . . with all its might, trying to strangle me. I struggle, but I am tied down by that dreadful feeling of helplessness that paralyzes us in our dreams. I want to cry out—but I can’t. I want to move——I can’t do it. I try, making terrible, strenuous efforts, gasping for breath, to turn on my side, to throw off this creature who is crushing me and choking me—but I can’t! Then, suddenly, I wake up, panic-stricken, covered in sweat. I light a candle. I am alone.”

its two days to Christmas…and I am dreading the holiday. I hate to spend holidays alone.


The Christmas Wishlist

I am a self respecting bong and therefore after indulging in enough amount of self pity, lets talk about the stuff santa’s supposed to give me… it is a said thing that with a pay hike, I can no longer afford what I could earlier and therefore a wishlist is as good as it gets.

*For anyone who loves perfumes as much as I do, a classic one is necessary : therefore J’adore or Chanel NO 5 or both.

purple boots from tresmode of which i do not have a pic…

its not these tho these look better.but well they r boots n they are purple...

and MAC cosmetics (at least the foundation…mayb a llippie?)

of silent christmas gifts

Brittany murphy died today, as you all must know. It was a sad ‘prescribed death’.

I kept this window open all day but only have finally come around to writing something. X is back in my life if u must know, i have decided not to divulge anything more, because now i am over exposed. Lets jus say, he loved my new place, thought it was rather ‘fancy’  for me to have an AC and was appalled tht i didnt own a TV.

The problem is I am having some ethical issues at work. While Juggy my dear friend was rather disappointed to realise after all the hash-tag thrashing of chetan bhagat, everyone in the train is either reading a CB or midday..and I have a serious prob of my magazine’s dependency on  Bollywood Obsessions (damn i cnt even elaborate as i might be sued for it but i swear its not jus my mag, its all fashion mags in india)

I am also going to goa in jan with little birdie n gang, tht includes G. 😛 should be fun

Watch AVatar at IMAX was worth the expensive journey. Jugs curse me secretly for not taking the train. He’s a train man.and oh yes he’s a man, dont let the nickname fool you and no, he doesnt have man boobies.

And because I do not have a TV, there are no more late nights, howling away at some emotional flick on HBO.

There is no more reason to smoke because i am not endlessly staring into late night comedy re runs.

But where it really hurts, is when I eat. When alone, it is very difficult to have dinner without having anything to watch. Dinner is a social activity, it needs to be admist talk and action.

Sigh, Christmas is near and I cnt even feel it.

😦 😦 sigh sigh sigh…

Life without the technicolour

Would I miss TV? I asked myself. back in bandra, S was always in control of the remote, changing channels endlessly from one k serial to another. I would wait for her to leave so that I could

watch some of my own channels. most of the time, nothing would interest me anyway. when i go home or at my aunt’ place, i never watch TV but I am guessing I shouldnt compare it to that. TV is important only when you have no one else to speak to.  And even if you bring in a TV it suddenly overpowers everything else…the laptop, your music, even the silent smoke in a cool room.

its been two days and i consciously dont miss the TV. sub-consciously maybe i do. 😛

I think i should just hit the DVD store.

why do we always miss something because its gone?

i refuse to belive tht line of you only miss it when its gone…NO NOT WHEN…BECAUSE!!

we miss things because its not in front of us anymore. if it comes back to us, we will again go back to ignoring it because frankly we really dont need it tht much…

yes..this goes out to both the tv n the man…


my bedroom..clicked from my phone so a bit hazy...

my little piece of heaven

A note about my new room!

It’s been some very long weeks. As much as I love staying with my aunt, the need to live in my own space always overrules the permanent moving-in-with-family. So, after many hauling and pulling and pushing and burning calories, I have officially moved in…last night. I have sheer curtains and Audrey Hepburn sketched next to my bed. I have purple rug n retro floorlights! As you must think, it is quite the hideout.  I shall put photos up later. I also have a bathtub and my new flatmate n I went grocery shopping and bought cheese that costs 1500/- why? You should have learnt by now that WHY is a question you CANNOT ask.

After all my life loving parties, partying my heart out n all tht, now when I get invitation to go for some through work …some real hot ones…I just don’t feel like going. All I can think about which coloured dustbin do I want and where should I buy it from. I know I should have bought thick curtains, but in a room as tiny as a mousehole, you need sheer everything! There is a lot of sunshine in my room, especially in the morning when I opened the door to the terrace, it was just so bright!

I don’t think it will get too hot during summer anyway coz I have an AC so boo you!

x n Y n the rest of all tht shit!!

Its alsmot 4 am on a Sunday morning. I watched a superbly amazing movie named The Reader. ( Do watch it. Earlier in the evening, I caught a play at Prithvi named Class of 84. It was alright, about a bunch of friends and their individual little tragedies. There were all kinds : the forty yr old stoner, the successful bizman, the not-so-succesful actor, the hot lifestyle journo who lives a life of glitz and glamour ( my aunt asked me if i could connect!) …so yes, it was very blah. But what such plays evoke are not an after discussion on the brilliance of the performance, but our own sets of memories rushing in all the way from the 80s n 90s. Memories it seem hardly needs a reason these days to rush in.

i also went for the Rolls Royce launch of the latest named GHOST. it was obviously fabulous and that is an understatement.


after all the details of the humdrum ( i am rather sleepy)

what i wanted to say is X messaged. a casual hey how r u follow by a call i didnt take. he probably thinks oh ya she doesnt give a shit. what he doesnt know is i am very fast heading to square one. I DONT WANT TOOOOOO!!!

its supposed to be a new life…in one month, my life has take a 180 degrees turn…new job, new house, new friends…no gettin back to X will be jus a sorry ending to all these amazing beginnings.

geez…why can these men not just get up and leave…ESP X??????!!!

there was a bit of shock from Y too but since my blog is now over exposed, i will not disclose it…!!

p.s. i bot boots sometimes ago remember? well here’s how they look